Monday, 29 August 2016

Here we are again. The ugly truth.

Yep. This is basically a post about what I've done to myself.
I have had no willpower or discipline, well as far as food is concerned. I have basically been trying to out exercise a poor diet. It doesn't work, and rationally I know this.
So, I am back to my chunky self, again.

I decided to post these selfies. Why? Because when I did this often, it kept me accountable, made me feel more responsibility for myself, actually made me see myself.
I have been completely embarrassed to do so this past year.

I think the realization hit me when I was doing a live video Q&A for my latest smut novel. They are fun, people enjoy them, AND they can only see me from chest up. However, the point is that I was asked if I would ever consider doing a book about health and fitness, like a legit book.
I couldn't lie, but I didn't say, "Well, I don't follow my own advice so how could I write one for others." In actuality, I don't think I have enough educational experience to do so, but I had often thought of adding Ripped Recipes to an updated edition to Ripped & Twisted.

I think it made me think, question myself even more than I have been. Slapped me in the face. People still think I'm fit and able to help them, but I'm not.
I mean, I was certified to teach Boot Camp classes. I've taken many anatomy & physiology classes, studied exercise and its effects on the cardio/pulmonary system. I'm not completely ignorant...but I have faltered in the lifestyle too. 
I am joke. I am a lie.
I have decided to come clean, and have been cleaning up my food this past week. 
In the past, showing my journey inspired me, motivated me, and helped me stay on track.
And though I am older now, maybe it can still help inspire a few others.

So here you have, my pudge, my cottage cheese, my thickness.

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