Tuesday, 11 August 2015

I've never been great at moderation

I've been an all or nothing type of girl.
This isn't always a good thing.
I don't do moderation well.
Eating, fitness, drinking, sports, health, self-destruction...
I am either completely into the good or into the bad.
I pick a side and just spiral - up or down.

And then, I think back to that quote that I've brought up in the past:
Discipline is Freedom.
For me, it rings true.
I have to have a plan.
I have to follow it.
When I do, I tend to be happier.
My mind is a little less clogged.
I see results.

So, why do I stray and go balls to the wall insane in the opposite direction of my goals sometimes?
I am a roller coaster.
I struggle.
I deal.
I fall.
I learn.
Such is life.

Right now, I am at the weight that I was at 12 weeks out from my competition last year.
Am I disappointed?
However, in another odd way, I feel okay because I know that I can get back to the place that I was comfortable with, not competition shape, but I liked the way that I looked.

I am still toying with three comps next year, but that could always change.
Maybe I will just buy fancy bikinis and prance around the house in heels instead.

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