Thursday, 12 November 2015

Secrets.

Don't you think that we all have them?
No matter how big, small, scary, or funny, I believe we all carry little parts of us that will never be revealed throughout our lifetime to anyone but our inner dialogue.
Many like to claim that they are an open book, that they put it all out there.
I somehow cannot believe that.
I do both. I like to say that I put it all out there, and to an extent, do share parts of my life that many would never think of doing so with others. But I know there are so many secrets tucked away in little dark holes within me, that no one will ever know the complete me.

I can't be alone in this thinking.
At times, I would love to spill everything.
Confess all of the parts of me that are faulted, evil, will never be perfect...
And as much at I tout that other peoples' opinions don't matter, I know that I fear being judged.

In part, I do like to put up a barrier between myself and others.
Truly, I never let anyone in too close, deep.
I suppose that is pitiful. I have always kept family, friends, acquaintances at certain distances, never talking about what may be irritating me, haunting me, or afflicting me.
I also know that many of these relationships suffer because of it.

It is nice to think that we could all be honest with each other and not have bonds affected by those truths, feelings, revelations. But we all know that will never happen.

Here lies one reason why I am always hesitant to give advice to people when I am asked.
How can I help you when my own head and feelings are so screwed up at times?
I just hide my crazy better than others.

It's okay though. 
We all do it, don't we?




1 comment:

Melissa Cunningham said...

Yup. We all have our secrets and like you said, Some hide thier crazy better than others. You are not alone!
: )