Monday, 10 March 2014

You're so vain.....

No, not you, but me.
Actually, a friend back home asked how I do the workouts, diet, competing?
How do I stay consistent.
And I told her that I was getting vain and freaked out.
It keeps me feeling better about myself.
There's one of my horrible truths.
Lately, I've been obsessing about looks and what happens with the aging process.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me.
I mean, I still feel like I'm in my late 20's.
And most times, I don't feel like I look as old as I am.
Then, I hit a reflection and am like, "Holy shit, it's happening...."
I don't have delusions about "beauty" for myself.
I often think the way Isabella Blow did.
Playing up other attributes to deter from others.

I want to age gracefully,  but still be bad-ass.
I know, I'm being totally weird.
Honestly, I never thought I'd live past 30, so to be coming up to 41 is really creeping me out.
The freaky thing is I'm really happy about it, but can't quite grasp the concept, and I kind of want to go back and re-do some of my youth.
Crazy, right?

Okay, enough with the self-obsession of aging.
But she is a rock star!

Good news is that I'm still losing the fat like crazy.
The "pounds" are not coming off quickly, but if she's not concerned with the actual weight on the scale, neither am I.
Okay, that's a lie.  I'm a little concerned, but I think that has to do with a lifetime of the "losing weight" idea being beat into my head.

Have you guys seen the Jelly Bean Trident gum?
One of the other girls found it.
I think I have to go in search of it this week.
Jelly Beans and Twizzlers are my go to comfort junk.
But I haven't had either in almost a year.

I have, though, been eating so much that I feel that I alone have probably finished off a small farm of chickens, turkey, beef and salmon.
Sorry critters, I really do feel guilty.
I have been getting really creative with the chicken and ground turkey since I consume copious amounts of it all day long.
Pasta may be my cheat meal after.
Ah, a little less than 5 weeks and I can have pasta!
If I don't change my mind before then, haha.



Tenecia said...

To say there is no vanity in this sport would be crazy! You're perfectly normal!

And 5 weeks! Eekk!! I can't wait!!


Lacey said...

We're all a little vain, and we all like working on our bodies. Meh, nothing wrong with that!

Are you an aries girl like me? :)

Lapetitemort said...

Whew! Thank goodness that I'm not the only one!!
Ok, I'll bask in my vain-ness a little bit.

Lacey, I'm a Taurus ;)