It's sort of been reflection time.
Coach likes for us to do that.
She recommends journalling, which I like to do.
I keep a paper journal for all of my crazy, over thinking and such.
In all of this processing, I've come to realize something.
It's nice to relinquish control.
I've touched on that thought before.
One of the things that I really love about competing
(for all of my whole 2 preps)
is not having to worry or think about things.
Coach takes control.
Yes, I control that I make sure that I do what I'm instructed.
I get handed over meal plans, workouts, strategies.
I just have to put it into action.
I really love that.
Then, I realized that my work is sort of like that too.
I mean, yes, I work for myself.
It's really nice getting to take control of how much work that I take in and controlling my schedule and flexibility.
The actual work?
I get handed notes, drawing requirements, directions, etc.
I don't have to worry about too many aspects, except getting it done on a timeline.
Just follow directions and produce said finished product.
Then, get paid, nice.
Sure, there are times, that I have to decipher meaning from documents, translate stupid legalese, or do calculations to make sure things close mathematically.
It's not as though I'm a complete dufus or totally lazy.
It's just a weight to not have to take complete control all of the time.
There was a time that I did have to control a ton and supervise other folks as well.
When, I did or have too, well my brain likes to go insane with "what if's".
So, during this process, giving up control was something that I learned to do and that made the whole thing easier.
Now, 12 days to go.