Saturday, 14 July 2012

It's Been A Roller Coaster

Yep, it's just been a roller coaster lately.
Unfortunately, there have been more downs than ups.
The most recent being this past weekend.
We were due to leave Sunday for a work thing-y for S.
I got up early going about getting things done, taking care of things, preparing for taking our critters to different sitters.  I took out our stinky-minks (ferrets) for their morning playtime.
But something was wrong with Ichabod.
(He was our rescue given to us by our vets who had been hit by a car and nursed to health.)
Long story short, I spent 5 hours with him in the Vet ER Sunday with him crawling into my lap or arms and whimpering.  After much, much $$$ they believe he had a prostate abscess that ruptured, something common among older male ferrets.  We could elect to spent an additional $1500 to keep him alive overnight and have a specialist come in in the morning to see if it was that.
Even if it was, there would be nothing they could do.
I called S, and he rushed up.
We elected to put him down.  He was in pain and could not urinate or deficate or eat or drink.
So, we said our teary goodbyes, and I was an emotional mess.

He loved to spoon with Boopie (the white one).

No sooner had we gotten home, and one of our pups made a mad dash out of the house.  Off went S running and me hysterical after crying and screaming toward the busy street after him.
Luckily, some neighbors up the way stopped me with me blustering and got in their car to help Sam, waving traffic away.  Though, the dumb mutt did stay on the sidewalks except to cross the busy street to get to the green space toward the lake and the ducks.  
The neighbors drove Sam and knucklehead back home, to my blustering relief.

After, all the animals got to safe sitters, and we left.
The drive away was fine until the flipping patches of storming and water.
By this time, my nerves were shot, and I became white-knuckle-grandmaw-driver.
Oh, we had to bring two vehicles - S's work car and ours, but that's another long story.
A few hours later and we had made it to the hotel.
I admit that all I wanted by that point was some alcohol and a bed.

During our stay, I did manage to go to the hotel gym everyday.
I also brought food.
Two of my friends also had a parent who died while I was there.
My heart wrenched because I was not around to hug either - one in Colorado, one back in Louisiana.

I'm trying to climb on up and out.
Needless to say, the past few months, things keep breaking, going wrong and just suck.
I know, though, that others have it far worse than me.

I'm trying to stay on track and eat clean, build muscle, work out.
I had wanted to do the Muscle Mania/Ms. Fitness show in October.
But even with the 15 resumes and applications a week that I put out, a couple of interviews, nothing has happened.  I take it that that may be a sign.
Thankfully, I was only looking for part time work to support this hobby that I love.
So, I'm just going to take what I have learned so far from my wonderful coach, do more research on my own, and just work on it.
I am super lucky that we have a good relationship and she talks outside of appointments and such.
I don't need to actually compete to have the aesthetic that I want -
but it is fun.
Right now, it will be lots of trial and error.
I will be watching lots of youtubes to try and learn some new moves on my own.
Maybe the future will eventually come back to competing.

Going to keep trying to find the silver lining and the good things and focus on those.
It seems since I turned 39 in May that it has been a downward spiral of things that keep going wrong.
I don't think that I am completely over what happened last month.
I've also been having a lot of tests done.
Most of the time, I look like a junkie from all the poking.
Maybe I'm just a little too emotional.
I really am trying to and working to get back to happy.
I'm actually really looking forward to turning 40... =)

I know things will be back to our "normal" soon.
I have spent too much time on Pinterest looking at silly stuff to make me giggle.

Yesterday, I picked up Ichabod's ashes.
I cried.


Amanda said...

You poor thing! Things will get better soon. I'm so sorry things seem bad now. When it rains it pours, but there will be better times ahead. I hope you feel better soon!

Best Wishes,

Tenecia said...

My heart breaks for you! I wish I could give you a big hug!!


Julie said...

You don't know me from Adam but I was out blog hopping and hopped to you.
I am so sorry about your ferret and your loss. I'm sorry that life doesn't seem as good as it should be. It won't last forever, it will get better. I'm going to spend a bit of time and read some more....oh I remember how I got here, it was your post in March about your Nike+. I have had two of them and wore them out, looking for another one and just happened to see your post.
Take care and God Bless. May life get easier for you.

Lapetitemort said...

Thanks ladies. I know things will get back on the upswing eventually, and I'm definitely looking forward to that. =) Just getting my butt over the rough patches, it's a little tough.

Lacey said...

So so sorry to hear of your loss! :( Our sweet furry babies, my heart goes out to you so much!