Thursday, 16 February 2012

Day 116 ~ Self-Doubt

My new goal is to make practicing my routine (and now posing), well, routine.
I have no problem getting up every morning and going to the gym to do my weights and cardio.
It's basically become a habit.
I now need to focus on making these other aspects habit.

I'm having a ton of self-doubt because I don't have my routine down.
Yet, I know it is because I have not put the time I should into practicing it.
In one part of my head, I know that I can do it.
There really is enough time for me to get it down clean and flawlessly.
I devote the time to it.
I don't know why I've been procrastinating as much as I have.
It is all my own fault.
Part of it is because when I do practice, I get so frustrated with myself because I'm not hitting marks or times the way I'm supposed to.
That has to do with my wanting things to be just so and, I guess, perfect.
my total lack of patience.
I really, really have to continue to work on that.

Then, this other part of my head (that pesky negative nelly) tells myself that I am just a disaster waiting to happen, and why in the hell did I decide to do fitness?
I'm no gymnast.
I have no grace or poise.
What the hell was I thinking?

Then, just by chance, I came across this interview with Adela Garcia at FitnessRX for Women this morning.

I read this question and Adela's response.

Why do you think the number of amateur and now pro Fitness competitors has dropped? What can we do to save Fitness?

Fitness is the hardest out of all the divisions. You can be depleted, tired, hungry, busted, but still have to dig deep inside your heart to run the Fitness routine. I have so much respect for Fitness athletes and their work ethic. I believe with other divisions in place, competitors don't want or don't have the time to do Fitness. Fitness requires a lot more work and also money. You are talking about choreography, costumes, suits, music. It all adds up, and when you do not have to kill yourself as much, why not choose an easier division? Also, a lot of girls believe that in order to be a good Fitness athlete they have to be a gymnast, and that is not the case. I have proved that year after year. Remember, it is not about gymnastics— it is about executing a routine that is clean, entertaining and brings your personality to the stage

Wow, right?
Here's all of my fears sort of laid to rest.
So, I'm scheduling time each day to practice my routine.
I will make it clean, entertaining and me. 

By the way, I kind of want this.
It makes me laugh!
(from Cafe Press


Chelle Stafford said...

OMG, I so want that shirt!! LOL! Hang in there my friend. Fight past the doubt. Keep moving forward. You have every right to take that stage, and take it proudly. This is your path, your journey, and it will be your moment. Make it everything you're dreaming of.

Lapetitemort said...

I know, right? It just makes me giggle and giggle.
Thank you, Chelle. I needed a few words of encouragement. =)

Athena said...

Amazing that you came across that article right when you needed it. I haven't even met you in person but I am 100% certain that you can put on an awesome show and "bring your personality to the stage." Be patient with yourself and keep at it! You will rock!!