Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Self-Sabotage

So, I had been doing so well,
seeing progress,
beginning to make some lofty goals...
Then the past five days, though I worked out hard and consistently,
I blew it.



Lots of beer, gin, wine...
some not so good food choices, hell, horrible choices.
Last night, I spent two hours fighting myself on ice cream.
I don't even like ice cream.
I went to the store, picked up a M&F Hers and two pints of ice cream.

For some reason, I am not wanting myself to succeed.
I really don't feel like I deserve to become what I have in my head and heart.

I've been in a bad headspace that I cannot seem to get out of.
I need to start writing in my paper journal again to purge the negativity that is festering.

I need to start trying not to dwell, dwell, dwell, 
especially on petty things that are not worth it.

I also need to re-prioritize my life.
It's time for some changes -
changes of things that can be changed.

I'll figure it out eventually.

But I have still been going to the gym!

I haven't been posting as I should, but here's today's workout and pic.



2 comments:

The Glamorous Housewife said...

One day of indulgance isnt going to kill you. Sometime you just gotta have a burger and get drunk. Its when you are eating a burger and drinking every night, and never going to the gym that things start to fall apart. I went a full year once where I HATED working out, and basically walked through my workout- but at least I showed up. And that made all the difference.

I know you can do it. Remember- this is a lifestyle, not a diet. Every meal is a choice and today you can choose something different then yesterday.

Thanks doll,
The Glamorous Housewife

SusieQT said...

Don't beat yourself up over it. That was yesterday. This is a brand new day! :)

You're doing so well on the whole- look at it from that perspective.