Thursday, 20 May 2010

Wow, the things I come to realize

I used to have this amazing support group of friends, amazing women. I still love them to death and miss them dearly. Moving changes the dynamic. I did not want to believe that it could, but reality has smacked me in the face. Life goes on, and I am not there to move along on the same path. I find out major life events from facebook now. No more texts, calls, letters. It has saddened me even though I knew the changes and distance were happening. I miss that, them. I miss having girlfriends to confide in, talk to and bounce problems and ideas off of, to go to dinner with, watch cheesey tv shows, just sit around having fun. I mean, there are just some things that husbands don't get or understand, ya know? It's just not the same trying to have certain discussions with the husband. As best of friends as we are, that dynamic isn't there for girl talk, girl problems. Now, the only time I confide or get to talk about problems is when I get drunk and, poor Myssi gets a weird email from me or poor Kemery gets me spewing after our drunken study sessions. Poor gals because I hardly know them that well.

I think I'm just feeling it because being home and in bed and finally turning on the computer, I went to facebook and found out about two friends second pregnancies. I just thought that I would have found out from a phone call rather than a public announcement to the world. I had tried to confide in one about some of my medical problems that have arisen this past month and my distress, but I guess they had other preoccupations. This is when I realized that the dynamic has changed.

So what's a girl to do? Time to go back to paper journaling like the teenage years. Secrets locked up, problems told and maybe some cathargic happenings? Who knows.

And the funk from my birthday... yes, has turned into full blown respiratory infection and fever. Couldn't go into clincals with it. I mean you can't bring in extra funk for already sick folks. Still have it. That, now, on top of other medical issues makes for lots of fun in my life. Thanks gods of when it rains it pours. I really could use a tiny ray of sunshine at the moment. A month of perpetual bad news and happenings, is enough dontchathink? Now, excuse while I go to hack up a lung and cough up more green sputum goodness. I offered to give samples in our last lab last Thursday, but there were no takers.

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